Starting to Communicate

Intimate communication involves two partners communicating about sexual matters. For the couple that doesn't communicate about intimacy, they may not experience complete sexual fulfillment. The satisfaction of a couples' sex life is determined by meeting the desires and preferences of each partner.

Everybody responds differently to sex. Some may prefer touching while others may enjoy rougher contact. Maybe some partners like a little bit of both. What one person finds sexy the other person may find uncomfortable. How will you ever know what your partner wants unless you establish constructive intimate communication?

How Talking Things Through Can Help

How does a couple intimately communicate? Isn't it awkward and unromantic to speak about sexual matters? It may be. It might seem clinical or unromantic, but is it essential for long-term happiness. You are communicating erotic thoughts and possibilities to a partner who loves and trusts you. Talk together non-defensively, without criticism or blame and make sure your partner feels at ease.

Then start to talk about different things you would like to try sexually. Talk about your likes and dislikes. Clear the air regarding frustrations or resentments. Though it may seem awkward at first the more you talk openly about intimacy the more confident you will feel. Many couples are curious about new and sexy ideas, but feel too embarrassed to make such suggestions. Intimate communication provides both partners with the opportunity to express themselves honestly and deepen their relationship.

Using Nonverbal Cues

Another option is non-verbal communication. This is called "hand guiding." You simply take your partner's hand and show him with your own hand what you like. Let your partner know when he or she is doing something right with steady encouragement. Be an attentive partner and observe how your lover is reacting to your movements.

Give your partner feedback through sounds or moans to alert him that he is pleasing you. If necessary, guide his hand again so he understands how you like to be touched, the pressure and pace that you enjoy most.

Demonstrating what you want not only teaches your partner what you desire, it can also be a major erotic turn on.

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tova@sextherapylosangeles.com