Body Image

Body image is the perception of one's body as it relates to both appearance and function. This is a powerful issue that can influence what an individual accomplishes in life. Our self image shapes our thoughts which, in turn, impacts how we navigate in the world. Body image affects a person's career, personal and professional relationships and their sex life.

A person who has low self esteem or who thinks negatively about their body will project that insecurity to the outside world. He will feel unsure about himself. On the other hand, people who have a healthy body image and are comfortable with themselves, are happier and more successful in life. They advance in their careers, they enjoy productive relationships, and they enjoy a higher level of sexual fulfillment.

Body image has little to do with real physical attributes. It is a state of mind, a feeling of unattractiveness, worthlessness or lack of desirability. Often people who have a poor body image may actually be physically appealing. Conversely, people who are just average looking but who possess a good body image can be very attractive to others.

Why Does A Person Develop Poor Body Image?

Unfortunately, many people do suffer from a poor body image. This "perfect image" that we all fall short of is undeserved and unrealistic. Whether it's the modern media's distortion of sex appeal or simply a person's emotionally abusive upbringing, these kinds of factors can cause a person to hate their body. Therefore in adulthood, some men and women may become embarrassed about their physical appearance. They may begin to withdraw socially and not even attempt to meet new people, thus giving their sex life a death sentence.

Poor body image is known to affect more women than men--about 70% of women polled said they were not happy with their bodies, compared to 33% of men. However, 33% of the male population is still a lot of people that are being unfair to themselves. Common body areas that are the subject of criticism include skin, hair, nose, body fitness, eyes, penis size, chest and stomach. Some of these worries could be media influenced. Some celebrities, athletes or porno superheroes have near perfect bodies and set an unrealistic standard that most men cannot reach.

The Truth About Your Body

The most important issue is how you see yourself. Are you happy with your body? If you are not, then make it a goal to get into better shape. Evaluate yourself not through your own eyes, but through the eyes of someone else. Now if you saw someone else that looked like you, would you admit they were fairly attractive? If you can't bring yourself to admit that you're at least average looking then it is probably due to low self esteem, and is entirely a condition of the mind.

While most people who suffer from low self-esteem are worrying about their physical flaws, other people are actually noticing the features that they like. For example, if a man doesn't have a perfect waistline, then many women will find beauty in his eyes or his smile. A woman may worry over her voluptuous figure though many men actually find her curves very sexy. In many relationships the one physical flaw a person thinks he or she has can be charming to the partner. So never trust your own poor body image and believe that other people can't stand the sight of you. Chances are they will pay you no special attention because you look just like all of them - handsome or beautiful, with a few flaws but also with a lot of attractive features.

Remember that what you feel inside will be projected to the world. So don't tell the world that you're unattractive and unlovable. Sexual appeal is determined by your own level of confidence and understanding, not your physical imperfections.

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tova@sextherapylosangeles.com