The Sex Drought: No Time for Sex!

"Of course, our sex life could be so much better if we only had the time!" That may be the feelings of many couples can't find the time for sex. With a full calendar of work activities, cultural events, meetings, or child obligations, it may seem like there is simply no time for sex. But if there is time to attend a meeting or class, there is always time for sex. Sometimes stress, distraction and fatigue play a role in squeezing sex off the calendar.

A Drought Is Deadly

In the early stages of dating, life seems to revolve around sex. There is newness, a lust that can push aside more reality-based issues. (What newlywed wouldn't take a day off work to have wild sex with his wife?) But when the novelty of sex wears off, couples usually find themselves getting back to work and daily routines with less emphasis on sex. They may plan sex to take place at a specific time, perhaps at night, or on weekends. After a long day at work, one or both partners may lack the energy to have sex.

When you add children into the equation this further complicates matters. When it comes to the wellbeing of your children, you cannot put your life on hold to satisfy your desires. But can you forget about your sexual needs? No, of course not. If there is a chronic lack of passion and intimacy, the relationship could be headed for trouble. A lack of sexual fulfillment could tempt spouses to cheat, or at the very least, could cause emotional abandonment.

Planning For Sex

The quality of sex is more important than the quantity. If you lack the time to have as much sex as you would like, then plan for better sex whenever you can afford it. You and your partner need to arrange time for yourselves, away from the world, away from the children. Turn off your phones and make sure there are no distractions so that you can both devote time to each other. If you miss the spontaneity of sex, but need to stay on your "sex " try to enhance the sexual experience with an extra erotic touch like a sensual bath or honey-oil massage. Enhance the level of arousal and excitement.. In many cases, advance planning can work to your advantage. You can imagine what you want to wear, new ideas to try, and even build anticipation with your partner.

There is also something to be said about taking turns in your sex life. Don't believe the myth that sex is only good when a man and woman come together. Sex doesn't have to be self-serving; it can be a gift from one partner to the other. Concentrate on pleasing your partner and use your time to the fullest.

One time you can be King and have your needs completely met, the next time your partner is the Queen and its her turn to be fully indulged.

article table of contents

tova@sextherapylosangeles.com