Keeping the Spark Alive in the Golden Years: Sex and Aging

Is it true that when you grow older you lose your sex drive? While it's true that some individuals may lose interest in sex, to say that all people over a certain age eventually lose their sex drive is a myth. It is true on a scientific level that the human body experiences many changes as aging occurs this does not mean that your sex drive disappears. A healthy sex drive is related to both psychological and physiological factors.

A lower libido may be a physical symptom, such as low testosterone, or it may be a psychological problem, such as a lack of confidence. Generally speaking, if you have a healthy sex drive in your youth and middle age, then it should continue into your older years.

Physical And Psychological Problems

Low testosterone levels in men often bring about problems with erectile dysfunction. Men may have problems developing an erection, maintaining it and ejaculating properly. Not only could low testosterone be to blame, but also other physical illnesses such as diabetes, arthritis and heart disease could contribute to the condition. Women too could experience some problems. Menopause results in a decrease of estrogen which would affect the elasticity of the vagina and natural lubrication.

There could be many other factors that affect sexuality on a psychological level. One noted problem is that many people feel, whether consciously or subconsciously, that sex is a young person's activity and mainly to be used as a means of reproduction. These attitudes could affect the later years in terms of having sex just for pleasure. Even older couples may be affected by guilt, simply because many people are not used to the concept of sex purely for pleasure.

In addition, our society promotes the misconception that sex is for the young. Unfortunately, many older people buy into that myth and start withdrawing from sexual activity. Unconsciously, they may feel that it's silly or inappropriate for an older person to engage in sex. Not true, of course.

Feel Young Again And Get Busy

While there are many challenges associated with growing older and keeping up an active sex life, there are solutions to these problems. Problems with low testosterone and estrogen levels for one can be professionally treated. Beyond this, psychological problems can be dealt with if both partners have patience, have the time to work out the problems, and use effective communication.

The aging process in general does not spell a death sentence for mature lovers. Years of experience can actually be an advantage. You no longer have to worry about performance anxiety or other sexual hang-ups that are usually youth-oriented. Sex in this later stage in life is about pleasure not pressure. If you have been in a relationship for many years then you know that much better how to please your partner. There is no substitute for years of personal sexual experience!

Ways To Improve Your Sex Life

Your sex life will resemble the rest of your daily physical activities--in both your youth as well as in your senior years. If you were young and passionate, then that characteristic should continue even as you age, provided you are in good health. Furthermore, if you take good care of yourself physically and maintain an active lifestyle in other areas of living, then your sexual energy should be just as high.

Diet and exercise are more important than ever in the older years. Exercise will help improve your muscle tone and cardiac system which will help you stay sexually active for many years to come. Older couples who continue to have sex seem to be in better shape (remember sex burns calories!) as their body produces many chemicals that enhance the immune system, cleanse and replenish the skin, and lean body tissue. Best of all, sex relieves stress. Sex will never hurt you no matter your age. Stress on the other hand can lead to all sorts of physical problems. Always exchange sex for stress no matter your age--it leads to a healthier, happier life!

Though you and your partner will have to accept the changes that aging brings, this does not mean that you have to say goodbye to fulfilling, life-affirming sex. Take the time to pleasure your partner, to build intimate communication, and to enjoy each other's company whenever possible.

If you or your spouse are advancing in years and having problems keeping your sex life young and fulfilling, then consider sexual therapy as a solution. A sex therapist is well qualified to handle sexual issues and can offer relationship counseling in a respectful and professional manner. Never assume that with age comes unhappiness. You can reclaim your sex life and live out your older years the way they should be lived--happy, healthy and passionate!

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tova@sextherapylosangeles.com