Body Image

How a woman sees herself physically and sexually, will affect many aspects of her life. Negativity can start small, with a few nagging thoughts. Eventually however, a poor body image can affect a woman's career, her personal relationships, and her entire perspective on life. And certainly, this negativity can even affect a woman's sex life.

Poor body image, or body dysphoria, refers to obsessively negative thinking about your own body. You could feel as if you are unattractive to other people, both men and other women. A woman with poor body image may worry that she is too heavy, too thin, too funny looking or simply lack a pretty face. While these thoughts start slowly and quietly, over time they can intensify. Some women will become so unduly concerned about their appearance that they reach a point of self-loathing.

On the other hand, women who have a healthy body image and who sees themselves as attractive to other people, usually enjoy more fulfilling lives. Self-confident people advance in their careers, excel in personal relationships, and not surprisingly, enjoy better sex. (And a lot more of it, because when you're happy you want to give happiness back freely).

What many people don't see however, is that body image is not so much about your body as it is about your own level of self-confidence. It's important to remember that you have a natural bias when it comes to evaluating your own body. If you think negatively, then you will focus on your perceived flaws every time you look in the mirror. Take a look at the world around you: there are many average looking women who are healthy, sexually active and enjoying life. The more positive your own body image, the more successful you will be--in sex, in love and in life.

The Truth About Body Image

It's little wonder though that so many women are made self-conscious about their body when you consider the media's commercial distortion of human sexuality. When you compare yourself to Angelina Jolie or Sophia Loren you are being unrealistic and unfair to yourself. Movie stars are dolled up to look just a little beyond perfect. These are not women that you see walking down the street--and more importantly, they are not you. The quest to be physically perfect no doubt causes many women to feel self-conscious and perhaps even embarrassed about their bodies. Some women will even extreme withdrawal socially, not wishing to subject themselves to potential embarrassment.

Body image is known to affect some 70% of women, and may start early on in childhood or come later in life. Body dysphoria issues (sometimes called "BD issues") can be general ("I'm too fat!") or even related to physical deformity. (Such as one breast being larger than the other)

The question is, beyond what other people think, are you happy with your body? Ask yourself if you are possibly worrying too much about what other people think. Are you proud of yourself, of who you are, and what you have accomplished, and what you plan to do? If the answer is no, then why not make a change and start to make changes in your life? Tearing yourself down internally accomplishes nothing, and only contributes to your --and in the end, that contagious negativity makes you unattractive to other people. Most people value who you are inside. While a woman with poor body image is worrying about how "ugly" she is, others may be noticing the features they like about her. A woman may feel embarrassed about her weight, even though many men may find her voluptuous figure quite sexy.

How Sex Therapy Can Help

A sex therapist can help women who have body image problems. They can work with clients to restore a woman's self-confidence and the importance of loving herself. Professional therapy is help beyond the usual "pep talk" that any friend can give you.

Don't spend money on cosmetic surgery, or retire from the dating world before your time. Let sex therapy help you improve your body image so you can let the world know that you are alive and happy.

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tova@sextherapylosangeles.com